Do I have to give a gift/money at an engagement party?
Kathy asked:
I am going to an engagement party for my boyfriend’s cousin and his fiancee. I have only met his extended family on one other occasion (his sisters wedding) and wanted to know if we are expected to give gifts or money. I read in an article once that the purpose of the party is to “solicit gifts”. I do not want to commit a faux pas and have his family think I am cheap! Thanks!
fariaspromobusiness
I am going to an engagement party for my boyfriend’s cousin and his fiancee. I have only met his extended family on one other occasion (his sisters wedding) and wanted to know if we are expected to give gifts or money. I read in an article once that the purpose of the party is to “solicit gifts”. I do not want to commit a faux pas and have his family think I am cheap! Thanks!
fariaspromobusiness
May 17th, 2008 at 9:14 am
when i got engaged i got towels,an iron,cutlery,ect usually get them something they use around the house so get them a bale of towels you have only met them once so dont need to splash out on expensive gifts
May 20th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
There are two essentials to the proper timing of an engagement party – FIRST – you need to get engaged and – SECOND – both the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be must be present at the event. This may sound pretty dumb (yup, yup, yup) but quite often when a couple gets engaged the fiancé must leave town or the country for a while (or longer).
Engagement parties are NOT held without both members of the engagement being present!!! Once you have the two “basics” out of the way an engagement party really has no “timing” – other than “sooner than later.” One of the reasons is that many engagement parties are actually “surprise parties for the couples friends and family” and though it is pretty tough making it a real surprise party, odds are there will be enough friends invited to have at least a partial surprise.
The bride’s parents often host this party (surprise of not) and gifts are NOT given at an engagement party. This doesn’t mean gifts aren’t given – they just aren’t given at the party; here’s why – tradition has it that engagement gifts usually go to the bride only and are usually only given by family members and very, very close personal friends – these gifts are often mailed to the house or brought along on a personal one-on-one visit. With this gift-giving protocol in mind, if the very, very close friends and family came to an engagement party with gifts in hand it could or would make the other guests uneasy – ergo – NO GIFTS at an engagement party. Do YOU give a gift – figure that even a number of probable bridesmaids wouldn’t be expected to give a gift – then – your relationship with the bride-to-be really needs to be very personal and very intimate – otherwise – forget it.
May 21st, 2008 at 12:18 am
If you get invited to a engagement party it is always nice to bring a present or two. If you don’t know them that well though, you don’t need to give anything to expensive. Just get them a little trinket or somethin that they will find useful in their daily lives.
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
You could just get a ‘congrats’ (or something to that effect)card. That way you don’t arrive empty-handed, but you aren’t stuck spending a bunch of cash..
May 24th, 2008 at 5:28 am
No, gifts aren’t expected at an engagement party.
May 24th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
The real and original reason why people have engagement parties are for announcing their engagement to friends and loved one and not to solicit gifts. Gifts should only be given on weddings.