How do we indicate on our child’s birthday invitation that we don’t want guests to give gifts or money?
bbswit asked:
We are planning a party for our daughter’s 1st birthday. We are fortunate to live around a lot of family, so there will be a large group of extended family there. While we want our family to share in this occasion, we would rather people not give gifts or money — and don’t want people to feel obligated to bring one. What is the most polite way to include this with our invitation? We’d like to include an insert that says something to the effect of “please, no gifts” or something similar. If gifts were received, we’d likely donate them to a children’s hospital or charity that could truly use them. We really appreciate your help! Thank you.
karenalter
We are planning a party for our daughter’s 1st birthday. We are fortunate to live around a lot of family, so there will be a large group of extended family there. While we want our family to share in this occasion, we would rather people not give gifts or money — and don’t want people to feel obligated to bring one. What is the most polite way to include this with our invitation? We’d like to include an insert that says something to the effect of “please, no gifts” or something similar. If gifts were received, we’d likely donate them to a children’s hospital or charity that could truly use them. We really appreciate your help! Thank you.
karenalter
November 29th, 2008 at 9:32 am
I would suggest writing “Please do not bring gifts or money.”
December 1st, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Please don’t bring us anything but your company. It is your presence, not your presents, that means so much to us.
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:51 pm
That information should NEVER be included on an invitation of any kind: it implies you were expecting people to bring gifts. The only etiquettely-correct way to do it is to spread the info by word of mouth: if you can tell one parent, and ask that parent to spread the word it would be ok. Don’t ever put it in the invitation – it’s the same as putting in a card that tells people where they’re registered.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:01 am
There’s no really polite way to mention gifts on an invitation, even to say you don’t want any. (Besides, each guest will always assume that they’re the exception.)
December 6th, 2008 at 1:33 am
say:
Please grace us with your presence only. That is more than enough gift for us.
My grandparents did this for their 50th anniversary.
You could also spread it through the grapevine that they can get a savings bond for your child.. you would be a fool not to accept that with the growing price of college these days.
December 6th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
No gifts required. Instead, in the name of charity, monetary donations will be given to those who truly need it at local area children’s hospitals.
December 9th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Write, “Please do not bring gifts and please don’t be the only one to bring a gift.”
I love your “donate them to children’s hospital or charity” idea! That’s great!
I’m going home over my daughter’s 2-yr birthday and I would LOVE to get all of my girlfriends together who have had kids for a little birthday party but REALLY don’t want them to bring gifts but don’t know how to express it so they understand my sincerity. I would be unable to go to their birthday parties since I’m living on a military base in Japan… I’d just like to see everyone! This Q will be the first on my watch list so I can refer back to it! Hope you get lots of ideas!
December 11th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Your presence is highly needed, they will know that you don’t need their money or gift.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I just attended my bf’s niece’s 1st birthday…. her parents didn’t want the guests to bring big gifts so they told everyone (through word of mouth) that they would prefer they bring a book for Olivia if they wanted to bring anything… no pressure either way. It seemed to work well and Olivia got a ton of great new books to read without mommy having to deal with a room full of gifts (they put out invitations but did not include the info on them)
Good luck
December 14th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
I second TrixyLoo’s answer (the first sentence she said). I just also wanted to mention how big of a heart you have. Have a wonderful birthday party
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December 18th, 2008 at 1:06 am
People bring gifts because they care not because they are obligated. It would be such a shame if you donated gifts that someone put a lot of thought and effort into. If you receive gifts don’t donate them.
You could put in the invitation “in lieu of gifts please make a donation to such and such charity or children’s hospital.”
I love to give gifts. When I shop for someone I try to find something special for them. For a one year old I’d probably buy a toy and a special keepsake. I would be so upset if I found out later it had been donated. Very insulting.
December 19th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
“Please no presents other than your presence.”
December 22nd, 2008 at 5:42 pm
At a funeral I went to … wait, it gets better … announcements were sent saying, “Bring No Flowers, but Donations to the Cancer Foundation will be appreciated”.
You could mention something similar … but have photos, videos, guest books for visitors to sign (or put foot prints in for other babies) as a way to show their presence was recognised and remembered.
December 23rd, 2008 at 3:45 am
I’ve been in this situaion. I wrote on the inviation:
“Your presence on Noel’s special day will be considered her gift”
December 25th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Here comes the party pooper…
What are you having a big party for a one year old for? She’s too young to remember it, and will probably get overexcited from all the people being around, and cry and make a big fuss!
Invite the grandparents, make them a nice dinner, and get a seperate little cake for the birthday girl, and you can all sit around and watch her stick her hands in it and spread the icing all over her face and have a grand old time.. you can take lots of pictures and have great memories!